Many years ago, I was lost, lonely, stuck, confused, angry, scared. I asked myself, what's the point of me being here?? The answer that came back said, 'what's the alternative? Would you rather have oblivion?' No, I replied to myself,........ If there's pain at least I know I'm still alive and being alive means I can change things. I decided to start from scratch. When you're at the bottom the only way is up. It took a long time struggling and I'm not sure the struggling ever stops, but I learned well and developed an ability to bounce instead of thud my way through life. As I'm such an expert in the pooey side of the spectrum, I decided to take the topic up professionally. I trained with the best and am longing to share my first hand knowledge and professional skills for overcoming stress, and life's challenges in a gentle and fun way with you. If you need a hand or soothing advice, or are open to looking at life from a different and more beneficial perspective, you can contact me via this website or my facebook page CALM. I would love to hear from you. X
Be More Alkaline
Apparantly cancer is caused by the body having to combat the amount of acid that is contained in it.
If a person can eat well, (majority fruit and veg) drink lots of water (preferably mineral) and reduce stress and take (at least) small amounts of regular exercise, then the risks of disease are considerably lowered. This isn't a new concept but (I think) still a hugely overlooked 'lifestyle' choice that most of us could do something about at any moment. The emphasise on SUGAR, FAT, SALT and ADDITIVES are still dominating our supermarket shelves, and from having had a child going through the school system is sometimes (if not often) promoted at school by giving the kids sweets for incentives and rewards and having cakesales as a way of generating revenue on a weekly basis! Then the kids are told that too much sugar or salt etc is bad for you (I know I'd be confused!). If you're reading this, maybe you could have a quick check to see if you're treating your body like a temple after all, your body if for life, not just for Christmas! Happy Chrimbo.... x
Apparantly cancer is caused by the body having to combat the amount of acid that is contained in it.
If a person can eat well, (majority fruit and veg) drink lots of water (preferably mineral) and reduce stress and take (at least) small amounts of regular exercise, then the risks of disease are considerably lowered. This isn't a new concept but (I think) still a hugely overlooked 'lifestyle' choice that most of us could do something about at any moment. The emphasise on SUGAR, FAT, SALT and ADDITIVES are still dominating our supermarket shelves, and from having had a child going through the school system is sometimes (if not often) promoted at school by giving the kids sweets for incentives and rewards and having cakesales as a way of generating revenue on a weekly basis! Then the kids are told that too much sugar or salt etc is bad for you (I know I'd be confused!). If you're reading this, maybe you could have a quick check to see if you're treating your body like a temple after all, your body if for life, not just for Christmas! Happy Chrimbo.... x
Mob Rule
I saw a post on Facebook today of a man doing something really horrible. I felt angry with what I was seeing. All the comments that followed the video were full of strong language and hate. My question is do you think spreading more hate makes an already sensitive situation better or does is just perpetuate hate? Everything has its opposite....... You'll spend more energy hating something or not wanting a horrible situation to be that way, than you would if you looked for a way to improve what was happening. Hate is an emotion that gives nothing back. It destroys until it has nothing left to destroy. It's an indulgence, like a huge box of chocolates that taste lovely until you've eaten five too many, or even, the whole lot. It's an emotion that 'needs' to be acknowledged and will do anything to be noticed and adored. Hate DEMANDS attention in an outdated strategy. We 'need' to be heard when we are 1, 2, 3 years old. When we are 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old we 'should' have the skills and flexibility to get what we want in a sustainable way. Shouldn't we??.
I saw a post on Facebook today of a man doing something really horrible. I felt angry with what I was seeing. All the comments that followed the video were full of strong language and hate. My question is do you think spreading more hate makes an already sensitive situation better or does is just perpetuate hate? Everything has its opposite....... You'll spend more energy hating something or not wanting a horrible situation to be that way, than you would if you looked for a way to improve what was happening. Hate is an emotion that gives nothing back. It destroys until it has nothing left to destroy. It's an indulgence, like a huge box of chocolates that taste lovely until you've eaten five too many, or even, the whole lot. It's an emotion that 'needs' to be acknowledged and will do anything to be noticed and adored. Hate DEMANDS attention in an outdated strategy. We 'need' to be heard when we are 1, 2, 3 years old. When we are 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 years old we 'should' have the skills and flexibility to get what we want in a sustainable way. Shouldn't we??.
The Art of Creative Solutions
For years I stifled my creative energy and I felt that a huge part of me was dying inside. As a coach I am constantly telling others to 'follow their hearts' and yet I was not listening to myself. I stood back, reviewed the situation and stepped back into my life again. I started calling myself 'an artist' it felt odd as if I wasn't allowed this title, as if I wasn't good enough to be called an artist. In my head, art should be where you are able to express yourself freely. Maybe the most important aspect of art is that you enjoy the process more than the outcome and if you end up with a piece of work you like or that someone else likes as well, then that's a bonus. I felt myself split in two and from one aspect of me comes 'CALM' the other aspect comes 'POTTY OLD BAG' both aspects are welcomed. Maybe you have had a similar experience and would like to have all aspects of yourself working together in harmony? If you would like my assistance, please contact me ................... x
For years I stifled my creative energy and I felt that a huge part of me was dying inside. As a coach I am constantly telling others to 'follow their hearts' and yet I was not listening to myself. I stood back, reviewed the situation and stepped back into my life again. I started calling myself 'an artist' it felt odd as if I wasn't allowed this title, as if I wasn't good enough to be called an artist. In my head, art should be where you are able to express yourself freely. Maybe the most important aspect of art is that you enjoy the process more than the outcome and if you end up with a piece of work you like or that someone else likes as well, then that's a bonus. I felt myself split in two and from one aspect of me comes 'CALM' the other aspect comes 'POTTY OLD BAG' both aspects are welcomed. Maybe you have had a similar experience and would like to have all aspects of yourself working together in harmony? If you would like my assistance, please contact me ................... x
When you feel down, think 3 good thoughts..............
It was her 5th birthday and the little girl was sitting on the red sofa. The sofa was old and worn out for many bottoms had been plonked on it over the years. A little boy peeped through the tall curtains that separated the dining room from the lounge. He was carrying a small wooden cigar box. The boy sat on the sofa next to the girl and she beamed. She loved him like a brother. He passed her the box and she was filled with a rush of joy. It didn't matter what was inside as to her it was pulsing with so much good intent it almost glowed. Even the music that played on the shards of light in the room may have been a dream but in this moment nothing else mattered. She would always remember it. As she opened the box she saw raffia strips filling it with even more delightful and promises of surprise!
As the box opened the particles of wonder exploded all around. Both their faces were illuminated and a snap shot of this moment was attached to her heart. The box, now, long gone, is always present to the little girl and ready to be opened and the joy relived forever.
It was her 5th birthday and the little girl was sitting on the red sofa. The sofa was old and worn out for many bottoms had been plonked on it over the years. A little boy peeped through the tall curtains that separated the dining room from the lounge. He was carrying a small wooden cigar box. The boy sat on the sofa next to the girl and she beamed. She loved him like a brother. He passed her the box and she was filled with a rush of joy. It didn't matter what was inside as to her it was pulsing with so much good intent it almost glowed. Even the music that played on the shards of light in the room may have been a dream but in this moment nothing else mattered. She would always remember it. As she opened the box she saw raffia strips filling it with even more delightful and promises of surprise!
As the box opened the particles of wonder exploded all around. Both their faces were illuminated and a snap shot of this moment was attached to her heart. The box, now, long gone, is always present to the little girl and ready to be opened and the joy relived forever.
Living in the NOW
Have you come across suggestions about living in the NOW? If you think about it from a physical perspective it’s the only feasible place to be. If you think about it from a mental or mind made perspective that might be trickier! To throw a cog into the cognitive, maybe making those two perspectives different from each other might even be where problems arise. What does that even mean???
So often in the past I had been told, “Andrea, BE YOURSELF!” I had an inkling this advice was right, but had no idea who or where I was. I read a line once which made me laugh, it said “How did you find yourself this morning?” and the answer comes back “Well! I just pulled back the covers and there I was!!” I am in total agreement that a quiet mind frees up space and connection to the present moment and am discovering the joy and peace of that new way of thinking or rather not thinking. However, I also feel that observing nature and pondering how it adapts is a magnificent gift. I wonder if nature would have given us such a beautiful resource as thinking if we were not supposed to use it. I also wonder if we are not yet ready to harness the power of thought, and that the universe has given us thinking as a voice. I wonder if by letting go of thinking we can find the doorway to it’s use in order for humans to continue, thrive, advance, survive in changing environments. We could put thinking down for now and return to it later when we are more ‘grown up?’ Nature doesn’t fight it’s environment, it evolves to match the changes and therefore survives as an infinite continuum. Just a thought!!!
Have you come across suggestions about living in the NOW? If you think about it from a physical perspective it’s the only feasible place to be. If you think about it from a mental or mind made perspective that might be trickier! To throw a cog into the cognitive, maybe making those two perspectives different from each other might even be where problems arise. What does that even mean???
So often in the past I had been told, “Andrea, BE YOURSELF!” I had an inkling this advice was right, but had no idea who or where I was. I read a line once which made me laugh, it said “How did you find yourself this morning?” and the answer comes back “Well! I just pulled back the covers and there I was!!” I am in total agreement that a quiet mind frees up space and connection to the present moment and am discovering the joy and peace of that new way of thinking or rather not thinking. However, I also feel that observing nature and pondering how it adapts is a magnificent gift. I wonder if nature would have given us such a beautiful resource as thinking if we were not supposed to use it. I also wonder if we are not yet ready to harness the power of thought, and that the universe has given us thinking as a voice. I wonder if by letting go of thinking we can find the doorway to it’s use in order for humans to continue, thrive, advance, survive in changing environments. We could put thinking down for now and return to it later when we are more ‘grown up?’ Nature doesn’t fight it’s environment, it evolves to match the changes and therefore survives as an infinite continuum. Just a thought!!!
Cause & Effect
Fault, Blame, Responsibility
Here's a funny story and it's true. It's a story that might provoke some thinking regarding perspective and apportioning responsibility for self! Enjoy.......
I’m sitting on a stool next to John Grinder and we are chatting. Suddenly an old friend of his rushes over to say hello and he politely turns his attention to his friend. I sit patiently next to him relaxed and with my legs crossed left over right. John (for some reason) smacks me hard on the knee and involuntarily my knee begins to rise.
I can see my foot (time seems slow) begin an upward motion and at the same time in my peripheral vision I am aware that John’s friend is standing about the length of the end (from the knee to foot) of my leg away from me. I can also see that if my foot continues to raise that it will connect very neatly with the unsuspecting young man’s doo dars!!
Luckily, my foot was a few centimetres shy of a soft collision and I couldn’t help the need to laugh. It made me wonder if I had actually kicked this poor lad who would have been responsible? John for tapping my knee? Me for kicking the young man? Or the young man for deciding to stand in that particular spot?? Where do you stand with regards to fault, blame, responsibility? Depending on what you believe can empower you or hold you back! If you have any questions or comments regarding this topic, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] Have a lovely empowered day A x
NO WAY OUT.......?
Jennifer observed a very sad tale unfold and sighed as she watched it head towards an inevitable unsatisfactory conclusion. She played her part in upholding and maintaining the structure of this sad story and even when she had become aware that she was involved, that she was a player, she felt in some ways unable to change the outcome. Brenda had had a volatile upbringing. She had been extremely happy until her wonderful mother had died when she was 8 and was replaced by a wicked stepmother. Just like in the fairy tales the stepmother alienated Brenda. She treated her badly and the beautiful little girl did her best to stay happy, even though she was very very sad! One day Brenda decided to run away. She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran but she found that she could never get away from her wicked stepmother. Jennifer knew Brenda's stepmother only too well. She recognised the hold she had over both her and Brenda. Jennifer had tried running too but had found that she ran in circles so she always ended up in the same place he had started from. Jennifer saw things differently from Brenda. She stopped looking at the circle and concentrated her focus on the nothingness that was either side of it's boundary............. It was scary but she walked into the abyss. She called out to Brenda "this way!" but Brenda was still running.
Jennifer observed a very sad tale unfold and sighed as she watched it head towards an inevitable unsatisfactory conclusion. She played her part in upholding and maintaining the structure of this sad story and even when she had become aware that she was involved, that she was a player, she felt in some ways unable to change the outcome. Brenda had had a volatile upbringing. She had been extremely happy until her wonderful mother had died when she was 8 and was replaced by a wicked stepmother. Just like in the fairy tales the stepmother alienated Brenda. She treated her badly and the beautiful little girl did her best to stay happy, even though she was very very sad! One day Brenda decided to run away. She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran but she found that she could never get away from her wicked stepmother. Jennifer knew Brenda's stepmother only too well. She recognised the hold she had over both her and Brenda. Jennifer had tried running too but had found that she ran in circles so she always ended up in the same place he had started from. Jennifer saw things differently from Brenda. She stopped looking at the circle and concentrated her focus on the nothingness that was either side of it's boundary............. It was scary but she walked into the abyss. She called out to Brenda "this way!" but Brenda was still running.
WHAT DOES MEDITATION MEAN TO YOU?
Meditation can be peaceful, powerful, rejuvenating, relaxing, healing and can be many other things to many different people. The problem is that you actually have to do it for it to make a difference! Also the type of meditating you do can make or break your desire to continue. Suddenly amongst the bliss we seem to have a fight on our hands. Some advise no thoughts. I like that idea although I feel it has an element of sterility, nothingness and I know that when I have great thoughts, life feels great. Even if we are thinking of nothing the presupposition is that we are thinking. I also have a question to the universe: What if we are thought? e.g. thought thought about manifesting itself and here we are!? Believing that thinking something makes it possible (which I absolutely do believe is true) means that that statement could have credibility, who knows! I recently trained with Connirae Andreas on the 'Wholeness Process' which introduced me to what I believe is the closest people on mass have to being able to achieve enlightenment. I now use this as part of my coaching package and I know that it is a powerful tool to have in my toolkit. Connirae says "When you fight yourself, someone has to lose". Wise words........... x
Meditation can be peaceful, powerful, rejuvenating, relaxing, healing and can be many other things to many different people. The problem is that you actually have to do it for it to make a difference! Also the type of meditating you do can make or break your desire to continue. Suddenly amongst the bliss we seem to have a fight on our hands. Some advise no thoughts. I like that idea although I feel it has an element of sterility, nothingness and I know that when I have great thoughts, life feels great. Even if we are thinking of nothing the presupposition is that we are thinking. I also have a question to the universe: What if we are thought? e.g. thought thought about manifesting itself and here we are!? Believing that thinking something makes it possible (which I absolutely do believe is true) means that that statement could have credibility, who knows! I recently trained with Connirae Andreas on the 'Wholeness Process' which introduced me to what I believe is the closest people on mass have to being able to achieve enlightenment. I now use this as part of my coaching package and I know that it is a powerful tool to have in my toolkit. Connirae says "When you fight yourself, someone has to lose". Wise words........... x
THE POWER OF POSITIVE LANGUAGE
Recently I heard a local school's teacher tell a child that she (the child) had failed a task because she (the child) had forgotten about a deadline and that she (the head) would have to get someone else to do the job! I physically reeled as I processed what I was seeing and hearing. The presuppositions of NLP assume that ‘there is no failure only feedback.’ You could go further with positive language and instead of saying ‘no failure’ you could say that ‘I have learned that sometimes we forget things and that’s ok, I have learned that I can do things differently next time’. Most people are blissfully unaware of the power of their communication on a daily basis. If you tell someone to not do something, that person has to first think about what it is they are not supposed to do! You cannot NOT think about something without thinking about it. So, do NOT think of working out that last sentence. This rule can be used for positive results, but I’m sorry to say is usually used negatively and in an unconscious way due to the exact kind of conditioning that this teacher showed. No matter what the context of the subject the child could probably only hear YOU HAVE FAILED. From there they can make a choice whether they want to continue to achieve to fail, or continue to achieve because they DO NOT want to be a failure. Either way the use of the word failure can be negative/limiting and as the teacher is bigger, older, and in charge, this could have an enormous impact on the child (our children) in later life. If you'd like to know more about how language shapes and impacts the human experience please contact me I'd love to share. Let's water the roots of the plant by teaching our kids to 'want to achieve', rather than to be afraid of failing.